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Emotional Intelligence vs. Cognitive
Intelligence
by Susan Dunn
Definitions:
Emotional Intelligence: Understanding your own emotions & those of others & being able to use this information to bring about the best outcome for all concerned.
Knowing where emotions come from &
being able to manage your own & those of others.
Knowing what emotions mean & what information they're providing. Being able to work well with others as well as alone. Being able to combine cognitive knowledge with emotional knowledge & use them
in tandem.
Cognitive Intelligence: Intellectual abilities
such as logic, reason, reading, writing, analyzing & prioritizing. These go on in your own head & utilize only the
neocortex, not the emotional centers of the brain which also provide crucial information.
These abilities don't
require any social skills per se, i.e., you can solve a math equation by yourself, write an essay, balance a business'
books by yourself.
 Comparisons
- Being effective both alone & as a team player vs. only effective when working alone
- Being able to manage your own emotions vs. having temper tantrums, sulking or withdrawing
- Being able to empathize with others & knowing where they're coming from vs. Not being able to grasp the feelings of others & understand how the emotions are affecting the situation
- Using an emotional appeal to convince someone of something
vs. using an intellectual appeal to convince someone of something
- Knowing that motivation is a feeling word vs. thinking that motivation is a thinking word.
example
Bill
was brilliant in his field & the best IT person in the office as to technical skills, but his people skills were very
low. He was abrasive, arrogant, short-tempered & a perfectionist.
Other people didn't like to work with him
& he was unable to explain things in terms other people could understand.
Mary, who was also in the IT department, had good technical skills &
a good education, though it was less than Bills. However, her emotional intelligence more than made up for this. She was able to handle herself & other people well & to explain things calmly & clearly. People
loved to work with her & requested her by name. She received promotion after promotion because of her technical expertise
& her high emotional intelligence.
Key
Point
Many people with very high IQ's (cognitive intelligence)
do poorly in work & relationships because they have low EQ's (emotional intelligence).
They sabotage themselves
because they can't manage their own emotions or those of other people & they sabotage projects because they may have all
the logical, rational & analytical answers, but they don't have the soft skills to move a project forward.
Benefits
Emotional intelligence accounts for more success & happiness in life than intellectual intelligence.
Related Distincitons
Learn to develop your emotional intelligence as well as your skills & technical expertise & you'll do better in your
career.
Developing your emotional intelligence is also crucial for personal & family relationships.
Hire a certified emotional intelligence
coach & get started today. Your career & relationships could depend upon it. This article
provided by the Family Content Archives at: http://www.Family-Content.com
Emotional Intelligence . . . What Is It?
Nancy K.
Recker, M.A., Family & Consumer Sciences Agent, Allen County,
Assistant Professor, Ohio State University Extension, The Ohio State University
For many years, it was thought that a person's intelligence (IQ or intelligence quotient) determined
how people succeeded in life.
Schools used IQ tests to choose children for gifted programs & some companies even used IQ
scores when hiring. In the last 10 years, researchers have found that IQ isn't the only predictor of a person's success.
They're now looking at emotional intelligence
(EQ) as another determinant of a person's success in life.
"Emotional intelligence is a different way of being smart. It includes
knowing what your feelings are & using your feelings to make good decisions in life.
It's being able to manage distressing moods well & control impulses. It's being motivated & remaining hopeful & optimistic when you have setbacks in working toward goals.
It's empathy; knowing what the people around you are feeling. And it's social skill - getting along well with other people, managing emotions in relationships,
being able to persuade or lead others," (O'Neil, 1996, p. 6).
Emotional intelligence was popularized in 1995 when psychologist Daniel Goleman wrote his book, Emotional
Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.
Emotional, or social intelligence, involves at least 5 types
of skills:
- Self-awareness is a person's ability to understand & be aware of their feelings & moods. Self-awareness helps a person keep an eye on their thoughts & emotions so they can better understand why they feel a particular way.
- Managing emotions: This skill helps people display their emotions in socially
appropriate ways. It helps one control anger, sadness & fear.
- Motivation helps a person use their emotions to reach their goals. It helps them hold back their impulses & delay gratification to reach these goals.
- Empathy is the ability to understand how a person feels. It's different from feeling sorry for someone. It's feeling like "walking in their shoes."
- Social skills are dealing with others in social situations. It's the ability to carry on a conversation &
deal with other's emotions. It's being socially competent.
Both types of intelligence are important but in different ways. The IQ contributes about 20% to the factors that determine life accomplishments (O'Neil, 1996).
That leaves about 80% for everything else. Research has shown that emotional
intelligence can make a difference in life's successes (O'Neil, 1996).
i.e., boys in the second grade who are impulsive & always getting into trouble are 6 to 8 times more likely than other children to be violent in their teens & commit crimes.
6th grade girls who confuse feelings of boredom & anger with hunger are the ones most likely to have eating disorders when they become teenagers. These children are unaware of how they're feeling & what it's called.
So if a person doesn't have these skills, he or she can get into trouble, especially as a child transitions into adulthood. If a person does have these abilities or emotional intelligence,
they can help one throughout life.
These abilities affect everything from success in marriage to how well one does on the job. Emotional skills also help a person academically.
Such skills as delaying satisfaction or enjoyment when searching for long-term goals are helpful to children academically (O'Neil, 1996).
Children who can stick with tasks & finish homework or assignments do much better later in life than those children who are easily distracted & go off to do something else.
Emotional Intelligence
is Learned
Although children are born with different temperaments, or how they approach things:
- social
- laid back
- intense
- shy, etc.
EQ helps parents
& teachers work with these qualities so children can better cope in the world.
i.e., instead
of protecting shy children from the world & catering to them, parents encouraged their young children to participate in challenging situations (meeting new kids, going to new places).
They're encouraged in ways that kids weren't overwhelmed but used methods that gave the children the experience of mastering something new. By the time these children reached kindergarten age, they weren't shy. They weren't the most outgoing children, but they weren't the most withdrawn either.
There are some patterns that block the use of a person's emotional intelligence:
When these blocks occur & emotional intelligence isn't used,
people end up acting in unsuccessful ways. The goal is to be more informed about emotions & let them help overcome obstacles in life.
Much information has been written on the subject of emotional intelligence
& sometimes sorting out the information can be confusing. The first step to increasing emotional intelligence is self-awareness.
What are your feelings & why are you feeling that way?
Although this can be very difficult for some, once a person begins to understand himself or herself, he or she can begin to develop other emotional skills, which leads
to more emotional intelligence.
References
Feldman,
L. (1999). Emotionally intelligent leadership. Falls Church: Daniel Feldman.
Goleman,
D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. New York, NY: Bantam Books.
Kuther, T.
(2000). Emotional intelligence. Themestream. Retrieved March 6, 2001 from the World Wide Web: http://www.themestream.com/articles111617.html
O'Neil, J.
(1996). On emotional intelligence: a conversation with Daniel Goleman. Educational Leadership, 54 (1), 6-11.
For more information, visit the Human Development
and Family Life website at: http://www.hec.ohio-state.edu/famlife/
Click here for the PDF version of this fact sheet. All educational programs conducted by Ohio State University Extension are available
to clientele on a nondiscriminatory basis w/out regard to race, color, creed, religion, sexual orientation, national origin,
gender, age, disability or Vietnam-era veteran status. Keith L. Smith, Associate Vice President for Ag. Adm. & Director, OSU Extension. TDD No. 800-589-8292 (Ohio only)
or 614-292-1868 | Ohioline | Search | Fact Sheets
Developing Your Child's Emotional Intelligence-excerpt - By Margaret Altman et al.
Our 10 steps contain the 10 vital capacities that lead to self-control. Yes, self-control; a basic & vital human capacity. We have found that self-control is the foundation of emotional intelligence. These 10 steps will lead you &
your child to this empowering ability.
Emotional Intelligence is an ability that has been widely
discussed & it's considered to be the more important than academic intelligence. That's because emotional intelligence is the amazing ability
to understand & control our emotions in the face of challenges, changes & crises.
One way to appreciate this ability is this; before you can use your intelligent mind to solve problems you must have some control over your fluctuating emotions, some ability to balance yourself emotionally & use problem solving skills.
This is the heart of emotional intelligence. We all know people who have this
capacity. These people tend to have long-term success in their work & personal relationships when others around them explode or implode.
Such individuals who maintain their emotional balance look so natural when they do it. It seems to be instinctive. It is not. Emotional intelligence
is a mature ability & it takes time & practice for this ability to become part of the human psyche.
We've discovered how emotional intelligence develops from the earliest age
possible & from its roots in self-control. Our 10 steps trace the development of self-control abilities; the keys to emotional intelligence.
A
great deal of this development occurs in the first 3 years, well before your child must face the harsh realities & sweet temptations of the outside world. Yes, it happens this early. A child needs the skills of self-control in order to succeed in life.
There are, of course, many factors that come into play as a child matures & learns the skills of emotional intelligence. But self-control is clearly the earliest & the most important. It's thus the focus of our book. Self-control is not inborn & is greatly influenced by the child's
experiences with parents.
We've focused on how & when to teach the basic emotional lessons that will empower your child with self-control & emotional intelligence.
So we share this
information with you. Even if you have to go backwards thru the steps with an older youngster who is in trouble you will
find this book helpful.
Please use our information as a guide & not as a ruler for measuring your child's capacities & your own. Keep in mind that children develop at individually unique rates & achieve goals at different times.
As we present our 10 Steps, don’t worry if your child doesn't learn them as fast as you would like. We're embarking on a life-long process that is as unique as your child is!
The book is Developing Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence © 2003 by Margaret
Altman, R. Reyes and A. Bitton. It is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. The Author’s website is www.deveq.com
Emotional Intelligence: The Basics - By Michael G. Rayel,
MD
There’s
so much talk about emotional intelligence & how it can promote personal & business
success. What is it really? What are its basic tenets?
Emotional intelligence
is the capacity to recognize, understand & manage one’s emotions & that of others. This “intelligent”
concept focuses on the role of emotion in our daily lives & how it affects our perception,
reasoning & behavior.
Emotions are pervasive in our daily existence. From the
time we wake up to the time we retire to bed, we experience emotions. We can get excited by the news of economic recovery, or we feel upset when our favorite team loses a championship game.
Moreover, we can get lonely when our friend of many years decides to look for greener pastures & we can feel anxious when our child doesn't go home on time after class.
So really, emotions
happen everywhere & anytime. There is no day that passes by without emotions being involved.
We experience emotions when we - win or lose, receive phone calls from long lost friends,
greet our children good morning, say hello to our neighbors, prepare meals for our spouses, or ride the subway train.
Emotions are just as normal as the rising of the sun.
However, there are times when our emotions can become overwhelming & can negatively affect our functioning. For instance, anger is normal. However, the inappropriate display of uncontrolled anger can be destructive.
Let me clarify this point with a hypothetical situation. Richard, a relatively nice guy who works as a salesman, is
married for 5 years with Cynthia. For the past few years, his sales have plummeted due to some unknown reasons. He used to
be mild-mannered but lately he hasn’t been the same.
When he gets angry, he just can’t control himself. He yells, bangs the door, throws fits & punches the wall. In addition, he calls his
wife names & puts her down. Eventually, he has physically harmed Cynthia. Due to his uncontrollable anger & physically abusive behavior, Cynthia has decided to file a divorce.
In this example, Richard has failed to recognize his ongoing anger & its associated behavioral consequences. Because of his inability to recognize his anger & consequent behavior, he has failed miserably to contain his anger despite signs that his wife doesn’t want to put up with it. In addition, he has failed miserably to recognize & understand the feelings of Cynthia.
How could he?
He can’t even recognize his own.
Emotional intelligence can therefore become an important tool at home & at work. By learning its basic tenets of self awareness (knowing one’s emotions), self management
(controlling one’s emotions), social awareness (recognizing the emotions of others) & relationship management (social skills), people can make use of the emotion to advance the positive cause of our families & communities.
personal note: Anger can also be a "secondary emotion." A secondary emotion
is usually the emotion felt after the original emotion or
feeling is felt. For example, if someone is extremely frustrated, they can lose the sense of frustration because of the intensity of the escalation & anger is the secondary feeling that shows up & is usually so intense at this point it's out of control.
Copyright
© 2005. Dr. Michael G. Rayel – author (First Aid to Mental Illness–Finalist, Reader’s Preference Choice
Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: An Emotional Intelligence or EQ Game. For more information, visit www.oikosgame.com and www.soardime.com.
Emotions: From the General
to the Specific excerpts from The Personal Journey Workbook by Mary Rocamora & Ron
Koertge
Our emotions
are the first things we have inner awareness of. When we're little, we react spontaneously: toy breaks, kid cries. Later our reactions feel less spontaneous,
more inevitable:
"Every time Mom calls, I feel bad."
Frankly,
a precise emotional vocabulary is essential for this work &
most of us can do better than bad, down, weird, or off. Awareness yearns for the specific quality of each individual emotion like a gourmet who longs for the individual piquancies of Thai curry, not just food.
i.e., rather than
bad, let's try a more congenial level of specificity like depressed, sad, or guilty. Identifying guilty, e.g., as a specific emotion lets "awareness" do things it can't do with bad or weird which aren't connected to specific feeling states. Emotions need to be identified.
Only then can they can
go on the itinerary of places
we regularly visit.
The next time you feel a little weird, ask yourself, "What am
I really feeling?"
i.e., specificity lets "awareness" ask, "Does guilt feel familiar? Are there certain people who always make me feel guilty? Where does guilt come from in my personal history?"
The sweet thing is that "awareness" has been longing for this kind of distinct identification. Now it can go to work. It can
name the emotion & stay w/it where before it could only:
- defend ("It's not my fault.")
- project ("It's
his fault!")
- deny ("guilt? What guilt?")
- over-identify
("It's always my fault.")
- indulge
("Punish me. I'm guilty!")
....Now, let's go
a step further. Can you feel awareness being trapped & at the same time, free to observe & name? In our example, the trapped part of awareness feels guilt. The free part
observes the feeling of guilt.
Choose an emotion
that comes up a lot for you. How much of your awareness is trapped & how much is free to observe?
Someone who's easily irritated can feel irritated as he also feels, "Oh, jeez. irritated again."
The free part of awareness can ask, "How much irritation? Under what circumstances?" Awareness can reach out to look for where something comes from:
"Gee, Dad was always irritated. In fact,
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