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Serenity Prayer
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change
the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
What
is spirituality?
Prayer plus positive thinking leads to creative change. God always answers prayer. When the idea isn't right he says "No." When the timing is not right he says "No." When I'm not
ready he says "Grow." And when all is in order he says "Go."
Spirituality is the:
- Inward
sense of a power or spirit greater than you who has the whole world, your environment & you
in His hands. This greater power & spirit is God. God is what you believe Him to be. God is the power greater than you upon whom you can rely.
Recognition that you have a "relationship" with God that needs to be continuously nurtured thru giving God a share of your life in prayer, worship & good deed.
 
- Recognition that humans consist not only of physical matter but also have a spiritual dimension that needs daily care in order to survive.
- Healing attitude you can bring to problems in your life. If God can accept you the way you are, with all your frailties & weaknesses, then you can accept yourself & others in the same way. Since God is able to forgive & forget all transgressions, failings & misdeeds you can learn to forgive & forget those of yourself & others.
Our helper in the deepest
of deep problems is God. Handing our troubled persons over to God's power, mercy & direction once we've taken all reasonable steps to help them is an act of spirituality.
Texture of our lives that
enables us to risk being vulnerable to pain & hurt so that we can heal, change & grow. In living a God-centered life we're able to recognize the need to open ourselves to new ideas, new concepts, new ways of acting & new people so that we may discern God's plan & direction in our lives.
Steps to improve your own spirituality
Perform a spirituality audit. Answer the following questions in your journal:
- How do
I show myself & others that I resist the "spirituality" side of me?
- Why do
I resist spirituality as a valid way to heal myself & others?
- How does
it feel to realize that God is more powerful than me? That he has control over my life?
- What does
"having a relationship with God" mean to me?
- What is
the current state of my spiritual
life?
How will turning to God help
me accept my human frailty &
powerlessness to change or cure the problems & ills in life?
Step 2: Answer the following questions in your journal:
- When in my past or current life have I acted & felt like the author of "Footprints?"
- How have I acted toward God when I felt life had been unfair w/me?
- What in my past led me to reject or turn my back on God?
- How active is the "Serenity Prayer" concept in my life?
- How willing am I to allow myself to let go of the controls in my life & discern God's plan for me?
- How much courage does it take for me to "accept the things I can't change" & how much courage does it take for me to "change the things I can?"
- How active a peacemaker am
I?
Do I believe I will be rewarded for my acts of generosity & peacemaking? When? How?
Step 3: To strengthen your spirituality, complete the following plan of action in your journal:
- I will
establish a viable relationship with God from that date forward by following this schedule of prayer & worship:
- I will
give God ____ minutes of my time daily in conversation, meditation & reading the Bible.
- I will
let go of sole ownership of the following problems & concerns & let God's power help me:
- I will
try to discern God's plans for me by being open to signs from him in the following areas of my life:
- I will offer
my assistance & support to the following people:
- I will
associate myself more regularly with the following people whom I believe to have a positive attitude toward spirituality.
- I will
show others God has a direction in my life by:
- I will
re-assess my spiritual development on a weekly basis & re-evaluate this
plan on: (month, day, year), revising the plan when needed.
Step 4:Once you have your plan of action completed, live it. If you find your spirituality
lacking return to Step 1 & begin again.
What are 3 characteristics of spirituality?
The 3 foundational characteristics
of spirituality are Faith, Hope & Love. Spirituality is easily identified in people
who have a faith & belief in the power & presence of God in their lives.
Their faith enables them to believe that God is helping them in their times of trouble, sorrow & pain. Faith is the belief that God will never abandon or forget you during your time of need.
Spirituality is easily identified in people who have hope & trust in God's mercy, wisdom & justice. Their hope enables them to "let go & let God.''
Spirituality is easily identified in people who are active in showing love, concern & generosity to others. They're altruistic & giving in their approach to the world. They're able to make a difference in people's lives. The Prayer for Peace of St. Francis
of Assisi embodies the love of mankind.
How does one develop & strengthen spirituality?
To strengthen spirituality you need to:
- First be
willing to accept God's spirit, influence & power in your life.
- Be willing
to admit God into your life & establish a viable relationship with Him by offering prayer & worship to Him.
- Begin
to converse with God on a daily basis, letting God know how you are & what you're thinking thru meditation & visualizations.
- Share your
problems, worries, concerns & troubles with God.
- Release
your control over your own life & let God's will be made clear to you by signs of direction & discernment that only occur once
you to let go of the reigns & let God lead you.
- Let go of your need to always have a logical, clinical, scientific reason & research answer for the problems or troubles in your life.
- Reach
out to the weaker, poorer & less stable people in your life & offer them reasonable support,
interest & caring.
- Join forces
with others who have a healthy spirituality in their own lives. They're able to encourage, reinforce & support your efforts to grow in spirituality.
Free yourself to accept the direction, leadership & authority of God in your life. By letting God take the lead in your life you put your self-esteem & self-concept in a healthy, realistic perspective that lets you see where you end & God begins.
American Spirituality
By Dr. Abraham Twerski, M.D.
I feel very uneasy when
people refer to "the silver lining" in a tragedy. I'm less, but nevertheless somewhat upset, by statements that experiencing
trauma can result in positive changes in ourselves.
These terms, when used
in reference to the Holocaust or the World Trade Center, seem to imply that these catastrophes had a redeeming feature.
I can't think of these horrors as being in any way beneficial.
But I know what people
mean by these terms. No connotation of "redeeming feature" is intended. Rather, trauma does cause change & some of the changes following trauma may be positive.
However, they can only
be positive if we try to grow out of trauma. If we neglect the opportunity for growth, we'll compound the tragedy.
In the days of the "cold
war" between the US & the Soviet Union, there was concern that Russia might launch a nuclear attack against us. A recovering alcoholic who hadn't had a drink for 12 years said, "If
I hear on the radio that Russia has fired a nuclear missile which will land in & totally destroy New York in 16 minutes,
I'll run to a tavern & 'tie one on' as never before."
Although this man had abstained
from alcohol for 12 years, he had not advanced one bit in spirituality.
His greatest delight was still getting drunk. He was abstinent only because he feared he might lose his job or family.
If there was no longer
any reason to avoid these consequences of drinking, he'd pursue his greatest aspiration: getting drunk.
A truly spiritual person who knew he had only 16 more seconds to live might hug his children or tell his wife how happy she'd made him. If he was religiously oriented he might pray. He wouldn't think of squandering the last few moments of life.
Some psychologists said
that the exposure of our vulnerability may cause us to rearrange our priorities. For many
Americans, making money has been the prime concern. We may have given lip service to spirituality.
Our national heroes have
been entertainers & athletes, many of whom don't lead exemplary lives. The shock & magnitude of the World Trade Center
attack & the realization that there may be more terrorist attacks may make us rethink our values & goals.
Our young people may take
the firefighters & other rescuers as their heroes. Every so often we hear desperate appeals from the blood banks for donors. The long lines of people waiting to donate blood may have awakened our sense of mutuality
& responsibility.
The pictures of the massacres
in Bosnia & Somalia, graphic as they may be, depicted happenings thousands of miles away. But the World Trade Center was
in our own backyard.
It's the mail that comes
to our own offices & homes that may be deadly. The myth of America's invincibility has been shattered.
We're urged to go back
to normal living. True. But was our pre-September 11 normal? We've been aware of terrorism for several decades. We knew there was much anti-American sentiment in other countries, but we kept on living
as if it didn't affect us.
Living in denial isn't really normal.
The shock of September
11 may have awakened us, not only to battle against terrorism but to think more seriously about the purpose of life.
One psychologist whose
office was two blocks from Ground Zero & who was immobilized by the shock of the buildings collapsing was let to safety by a client. "In therapy, I had helped to empower him. He took care of me, reduced my panic & got me to breathe. He saved my life.
"I think I witnessed what I did for a reason & survived for a reason. I used to coach executives to thrive in the marketplace
& make more money. Now I want to help them find a way to put the good in business & be kinder & more resilient in the face of economic downslide.
Finding meaning & purpose
in the face of tragedy is one of the most powerful fear-reducers."
I strongly disapprove of
people who "know" the reason for catastrophes, but this shouldn't deter us from rethinking our life style.
We can enhance & deepen
our lives thru developing our spirituality. What can we do to enhance our spirituality? In order to do so, we must understand just what
spirituality is.
The human being is a composite
creature, comprised of a body + "something else." The body is essentially an animal body. What is the "something else?"
The "something else" is
the sum of all the features, in addition to intellect, that are unique to the human being, which animals in the wild lack.
For example, human beings can learn from the history of past generations; animals can't.
People can reflect on the purpose & goal of life; animals can't. People can think about what they must do to become better people. I doubt that animals think consciously of self-improvement. Human beings can deny gratification of physical drives for moral & ethical reasons; animals can't.
Except for maternal instinct,
animals in the wild probably don't sacrifice of their comfort & possessions to help a strange animal. People can be altruistic. The aggregate of all the unique features of a human
being that distinguishes man from animals is what I call the "spirit." If
a person implements the elements of the spirit, he's being "spiritual." Spirituality, then, is being & becoming the finest human being one can be.
Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two
sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, & the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed
before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was
only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest & saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him & he questioned
the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that
during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you
most you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious
child, I love you & I would never leave you. During your times of trial & suffering, when you see only one set of
footprints, it was then that I carried you." Anonymous
Lifting Your Own Spirits
There's nothing mystical
about using spiritual practice to deal with depression. All that's required is that you regularly engage in an activity - such as one of
the following - that lulls your mind into quieting down.
"The goal of spiritual practice is to simply become more 'present' in your everyday life; to learn not to fret about the past or get anxious about the future, which can be triggers for depression in many people," says Mark Epstein, MD, a psychiatrist in New York City & author of Going on Being: Buddhism
and the Way of Change (Broadway, 2002). "Focusing on the present can help you accept yourself & your own problems, without rushing to try to change or overcome anything."
Meditate thru movement: Find a place where you can walk without being distracted. Focus your attention on each foot as it contacts the ground. If your mind wanders, return
to the experience of walking itself.
Keep your gaze in front
of you to deepen your concentration. "Sitting meditation is difficult for anyone, especially depressed people, because it's hard to be still & concentrate," says Epstein.
"In fact, a lack of concentration
is a symptom of depression." Any exercise or activity that doesn't have a specific goal (such as tai chi or yoga) may also be helpful. It's about letting yourself "be" instead of
always "doing."
Visualize: Envision someone -- a relative,
friend, or public figure -- who could act as a compassionate & wise guide in your life. What would this person have to say to you?
"Once I did this 'inner-guide'
exercise with a medical student who had been very depressed," says Nancy Harazduk, director of the Mind-Body Medicine Program at Georgetown University's School of Medicine
in Washington, D.C. "She saw her parents & they asked her forgiveness for being so hard on her. When it was over, she said, 'I'm just so much lighter.'"
Unleash your
inner artist: Get out the crayons, pencils, or
paint & create art for 30 minutes. This is an immersion activity that many people find easier than meditation & it
can be just as effective.
"Doing art uses a part
of my mind I don't access very much," says Maggie, a Washington, D.C., attorney. "When I was really upset about my dog, who
was dying, I drew this picture that showed all this agitation I was feeling, which was really a sign of the deep, caring feeling I had for my pet." Drawing the picture helped her see that her emotions were actually positive, not negative.
Create a talisman: Find an object that is comforting to
the touch -- worry beads, or a rock found on a beach -- & tuck it into your purse. When you're feeling down, hold it, concentrating on the sensation of its smoothness.
Using it as a meditative
aid can help you stay focused on the moment. "I encourage everyone I work w/to do this," says Harazduk. "I recently ran into a woman who had been clinically depressed & she took her stone out of a pocket & said, 'I've never not had this w/me. It just brings me such
joy & peace.'" Originally published in MORE magazine, September 2004.
Prozac -- or Prayer?
All this talk of spirituality makes some people roll their eyes. Those who've suffered major depression, the kind that keeps them in bed for weeks at a time, scoff at the notion that they can just meditate their way back to sanity.
Even though Joy, 53, from
Massapequa Park, New York, has meditated every night for the past 16 years, she's cautious about viewing spirituality as the main cure for depression:
"Prozac works
faster than prayer,"
she says.
Skeptics also worry that
patients & therapists keen on the spiritual approach might steer clear of proven treatments, like drugs. It's known that the more episodes of depression a person suffers, the harder each new episode is to treat.
So depressed people who
turn away from antidepressants in favor of such practices might be putting themselves at risk for more serious & intractable, mental illness.
That's why some women combine
drug therapy with spiritual practice. Christina, 55, of New Salem, Massachusetts, experienced
a crushing bout of depression while caring for her 2 children, who both have developmental problems.
"I remember
trying to sweep the floor one day & I just couldn't do it,"
she says.
She credits antidepressants with restoring her ability to cope with day-to-day life, but it was her mindfulness practice (a meditation & stress-reduction class that included yoga) that has helped her feel joy again.
"I'm not very spiritual, but this approach has prompted a fundamental shift in my ability to be at peace."
"Treatment is certainly
not an either/or decision, but spiritual practice offers a larger way of viewing problems,"
says James Gordon, who acknowledges that people with clinical depression may need to be on drugs, at least during the onset.
"But there are possibilities
besides medication. It's not easy, but if you're willing to do some work, you may feel better than you ever have before."
Could we be witnessing
a shift in how depression will be understood in the future? A recent landmark study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health found that, of 145 people with recurrent
clinical depression who'd stopped taking medication (but were still considered at risk for relapse), those who had suffered 3 or more episodes
had a significantly lower risk of a relapse after they'd learned a mindfulness technique.
But mostly there is just
anecdotal evidence, from women who swear that their spiritual practices have made them happier now than they were before they got depressed. They say this type of therapy puts them at peace with who they are - often for the first time in their lives.
Certainly no one denies that conventional approaches such as antidepressants & therapy will remain mainstay treatments for depression. But mental health experts like Gordon welcome a movement away from the disease model of depression, viewing it instead as a spiritual wake-up call.
Gordon thinks that this message is especially relevant to women at midlife. "The first half of life is about making it in the world. The
second half is about fulfilling oneself as a human being, taking an interior journey," he says.
"As you contemplate your place in
the world, if you get depressed, that's okay. Now you have to find what's needed to complete the circle."
Accessing Your Spiritual Guidance
By Margaret Paul, PhD
© 2001-2003 Margaret Paul. All Rights Reserved.
This article is used with the full permission of
the author.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author
& co-author of 8t books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved
By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding" & "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site
for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com
For the last 35 years,
I've been working with individuals, couples & families, as well as business relationships. I've 8 published books on relationships
& healing, some of them best-sellers.
In the first half of my career,
I worked as a traditional psychotherapist & wasn't happy with the results. In the last 18 years I've worked with a process called Inner Bonding, which is a powerful 6 step psychological & spiritual healing process. I discovered that there's no real healing without
a personal connection with a source of spiritual guidance.
Everyone in recovery - whether from alcohol, drugs, food, spending, gambling, sex, TV, codependency, or any other addiction - knows that they can't heal without a connection with their Higher Power, yet for many, this connection is illusive.
It's a common experience
for me to work with people who've been in Twelve Steps for years yet still don't have a direct, personal experience of their
Higher Power. All of us want a direct line to our spiritual Guidance.
We need this help in maintaining abstinence & taking responsibility for ourselves. We want to know what's in our highest good, what is the right decision in different situations,
how to set appropriate boundaries & how to manifest what we want.
It's the birthright
of each of us to have a direct line to God, whatever God is for you. Yet few of us have learned how to do this at will on
a daily basis. Surprisingly however, it isn't hard to do.
The spiritual realm exists at a higher frequency than we do here on the physical plane of Planet Earth. In order
to access the spiritual realm, we need to know how to raise our "frequency".
One way to understand "frequency" is to imagine a room filled with people who are sharing
love & joy with each other. This room has a feeling of lightness - a high frequency - whereas a room filled with angry, tense people has a feeling of heaviness - a low frequency.
So, how do we raise
our frequency? There are numerous things you can do to help yourself raise your frequency, but none of them will work unless
you have the intent to learn with Spirit about loving yourself & others.
Our intent is the most powerful tool we have for raising our frequency. There are only two possible
intents in any given moment: to learn with God/Spirit about loving yourself & others, or to protect against your pain & avoid responsibility for your feelings.
When our intent is to protect & avoid we seek to control - thru our various addictions - our feelings, others' feelings & behavior & the outcome of things. When our intent is to learn, we seek to take responsibility for our own feelings & behavior by discovering what we may be thinking or doing that is unloving to ourselves & others & what would be loving.
You can try many methods
of raising your frequency, from prayer to meditation to chanting, but if your intent is to protect instead of learn, none of these will do any good at all. The reason is that when the intent is to protect against pain, we close our heart so as not to feel whatever we're feeling. God can't come thru a closed heart.
We're each given free will when we come to this planet. This means that we get to choose our intent - to be open or closed, loving or unloving, protected against pain or taking responsibility for our feelings.
While the love that is God is all-powerful, it can't come into a closed heart. Just as the air you breathe can't come into your lungs until
you take a breath, the love, power & wisdom that is God can't enter your being until you choose the intent to learn about loving.
When you have a true,
pure intent to learn, your frequency automatically raises. None of the actions I suggest below will raise your frequency
without this intent. However, once you have this intent, the following actions can help to further raise your frequency.
- Move into your imagination.
Your imagination is a gift from God. When you move into your imagination, you raise your frequency & tap into the source
of your creativity & inspiration.
Our willingness
to move into & trust our imagination is essential to being
able to connect with our personal spiritual Guidance. When you first begin to utilize
your imagination to increase your frequency & connect with God, you might feel as if you're just using your imagination to make things up.
However, as you
take the risk of trusting what you think you're "making up," you'll discover that it really is coming thru you from God rather than from you.
- Keep your body clear.
Your body is an energy system. If your body's energy is clogged with drugs, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, heavy foods, lots of food or foods contaminated with pesticides, preservatives,
artificial sweeteners or any of the thousands of chemicals that are added to foods, your frequency is lowered.
- Pray. Sincere
prayers of gratitude & asking God for help in healing all blocks to loving can raise your frequency.
- Chant. Repetitive
prayers, chants & mantras can open you to higher frequencies, as can singing in general.
- Dance. Rapid
repetitive movement, such as Native American drumming dances, may open you to higher frequencies.
- Spend time in nature.
The frequency of a city is far lower than the frequency of nature. Being among trees & flowers, near a river, creek or
lake, at the ocean, in the desert, or on a mountain can all raise your frequency.
- Listen to classical or spiritual music.
- Do creative, artistic
activities. Moving into your creative imagination raises the frequency.
- Use incense or do "smudging."
Incense has been used for centuries to raise the frequency & invite spiritual connection. "Smudging" is using the smoke from various dried plants such as sage, pine, cedar & lavender to
clear the energies in a room & raise the frequency. Smudging has been used for thousands of years by indigenous peoples
throughout the world.
- Lighting candles.
Candlelight, too, has been used for thousands of years to clear the air & raise the frequency.
If you get into the habit
of asking yourself throughout the day,
"What is my intent?
Am I trying to control something, or is my deepest desire in the moment to learn about loving myself & others?"
you'll begin to understand intent. This will eventually lead you into hearing, feeling & seeing your personal spiritual Guidance.
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Prayer for Peace
Lord, Make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred,
Let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where
there is sadness, joy.
O Divine, Master,
Grant that I may seek
Not so much to be consoled,
As to console;
To be understood,
As to understand;
To be loved,
As to love;
For it is in giving
That we receive;
It is in pardoning
That we are pardoned;
It is in dying
That we are born to eternal life
Is There a Spiritual Cure for Depression?
By Barbara Paulsen
Some
experts are redefining depression as a spiritual crisis rather than a disease. But can you really deep-breathe your way out of the blues?
Does
Talk Therapy Work?
They are women who know paralyzing gloom firsthand:
Put them in a room & they'd have plenty to talk about. Put them in a doctor's office & they'd be offered
antidepressants.
But these are women looking for a different way to ease their psychic pain. Some have tried antidepressants & say the drugs took the zing out of an already limp midlife libido or made them feel distant & numb, or simply didn't work.
But
they also suspect deep down that their lives & not just their brain chemistry, need an overhaul.
Typically,
people turn to talk therapy as an alternative to drugs, but a growing number of women are embracing a new trend in the treatment of depression: spiritual practice.
It's
an approach that sidesteps analyzing problems in favor of seeking inner peace thru relaxation & deep-breathing techniques. A handful of programs, like the Center for Mind-Body Medicine in Washington, D.C., offer 12-week group sessions that teach
patients meditation, imagery, biofeedback & more.
A growing
number of therapists & psychiatrists are experimenting with these spiritual techniques as a new way to heal
those diagnosed with clinical depression (an intense, pervasive mood disorder that attacks the mind & can affect the body).
"There's
an explosion of interest among both therapists & patients," says James S. Gordon, the Harvard-trained psychiatrist who founded & directs the Center. What makes
the approach attractive, he says, is that it promises not just to make people functional, but to help them feel joy again & find peace & meaning in their lives.
"Depression is a sign that who you are as a human being on this earth isn't being fulfilled in some way," says Gordon. "On one level that's a psychological problem that can be dealt with in talk therapy, but it's often a spiritual issue. 'What am I here for? What's my purpose?' Those are spiritual questions."
The
Best Method to Treating Depression
How
to best treat depression has been an issue since the '50s, when the first antidepressants were developed. Since then, psychiatrists have disputed whether depression is a biological disease that should be battled with drugs or a psychological condition that needs to be addressed with talk therapy.
The
spiritual approach offers a new paradigm altogether. Gordon & others with a spiritual bent acknowledge that the current understanding of depression as a chemical imbalance with biological causes has given it the stamp of a "real disease," which
has helped lift its stigma (though not enough to keep every woman quoted in this story from asking that her name
be changed or only her first name be used).
But
they say that this overly medical view of depression is deafening us to the spiritual yearning at its core. And while
they believe talk therapy plays a vital role, they contend it can get in the way of true insight.
In
standard counseling, a therapist helps a patient analyze her thoughts to identify patterns in her behavior ("I'm a perfectionist,"
"I withdraw when I'm angry") that may be triggering her despair & to change them. With a spiritual or mind/body approach, patients are tutored in mindfulness; the idea is to simply observe your moods without passing judgment or trying to fix "a problem."
Rebecca,
50, a librarian who has felt depressed periodically, experienced a bout after she moved her mother, who has Parkinson's, to an assisted-living
facility.
She found
that spiritual practice helped her deal with her emotions in a more effective way than group therapy sessions led by a psychiatrist. Talk therapy's
focus on verbal, critical & analytical ways of communicating, while helpful at first, ultimately kept spinning her in circles, she says.
She'd talk
about her mother's illness & how overwhelmed she felt, then leave feeling more depressed than before. "It wasn't lifting me out, it was keeping me in the muck," says Rebecca.
She heard about the program at the Center for Mind-Body Medicine at an acupuncturist's office & decided to try it. After a 12-week program, which taught skills like meditation & therapeutic artwork, Rebecca's mood lifted.
"I
felt energized by the group," she says. And it's endured. She's gotten better, she says, not by trying to figure out why she
was depressed, but by simply focusing on her depression as another phenomenon in her everyday life.
She's more
accepting about her tendency to get depressed. Now, when low moods strike, she doesn't rush to make it different. Instead, she might create
a sculpture or find time to meditate or do a workout at the gym.
"Even
if I'm stuck in some of the same ruts, some little crack of light has opened up," Rebecca says.
Leon
Evans, MD, a psychiatrist in Boulder, Colorado, who uses mind / body techniques with his patients, concurs that spiritual pursuits help the brain access a different path to healing that's just as important as therapy.
"When
my clients talk about their problems, they can get buried under the worries of life. 'I don't like my job anymore.' 'I keep
losing it with my kids.' But when they take the time to be still, breathe or use an image to occupy their minds so that they're
not thinking of their to-do lists, all kinds of ideas come up. Often a real sense of purpose emerges," he says.
A Better Cure for Midlife
Angst?
The
workshops at the Center for Mind-Body Medicine are typical of the new mindfulness programs. At the beginning of each two-hour session, a therapist lights a candle & leads patients in a silent meditation.
Next,
she takes them thru exercises designed to heighten their self-awareness, including guided imagery, self-hypnosis, meditation, journal writing, drawing & movement.
There's
no talk of a higher power or overt spiritual doctrine, just an invitation
to look inward.
It's
an approach that seems to strike a chord with many women at midlife. Society's views of middle-aged women, who are dealing
with changing roles, fading beauty & fluctuating hormones, can compound their feelings of sadness,
isolation & despair.
On
a biological level, it makes good scientific sense that spiritual practice would alleviate depression, says Evans. It's been known for decades that meditation triggers the relaxation response, which in turn lowers stress hormones.
And
recent findings suggest that stress hormones create biochemical changes in the brain that lead to depression. In theory, if meditation or other spiritual practice lowers stress, it could cause changes in the brain that can alleviate depression.
But
beyond stress-reducing benefits, the practice of mindfulness seems to open new doors for women entering the second half of their lives.
Maggie,
49, an attorney in Washington, D.C., began suffering a very bad bout of the blues after a series of health problems, including
recurring fevers & intestinal distress. She'd struggled with depression for much of her life & found that talk therapy helped her identify the self-critical thought patterns that tended to trigger her episodes.
But
her insights -- such as not allowing the hostile nature of the legal profession to wear her down -- weren't always so easy
to put into practice. She tried Prozac but didn't get much help from it. When her sister told her about the Center for Mind-Body Medicine, she hoped it could help her escape her constant "head chatter" & growing discontent.
"I needed something I wasn't getting in my life," she says.
At
first, Maggie was skeptical of the program's emphasis on peacefulness & calm. She found herself resenting the time the group took away from her work. And when she couldn't carve out the recommended 45 minutes
a day to meditate, "I was, like, 'I should be more disciplined. I should be more spiritual,'" she remembers.
"Give
me a break!" But when she complained, the therapist would gently turn it back to her. What did she notice about the
feelings evoked? What did they have to tell her?
At
one session, the therapist asked the group to imagine a safe, nurturing
place & Maggie envisioned a verdant meadow full of animal life. She was surprised by the vividness of the image &
her emotional reaction.
"I was
filled with sadness at how I'd sacrificed myself for my job. I'd pushed what I truly
love -- the natural world -- to the periphery."
Over
time, the group's focus had an impact on her. Maggie knew her combative work environment left no
room for vulnerability & this probably helped fuel her
depression. The imagery exercises made the yearning for compassion in her life more palpable & spurred her to change what she could. "I try
to practice law differently now. I'm much more accepting of imperfections," she says. She's also reading Jane Goodall & applying the naturalist's lessons to the art of legal negotiations.
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Subject:
Think About This
There
once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church
carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage & set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised & as if in response, Pastor Thomas
began to speak.
"I
was walking thru town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage
were 3 little wild birds, shivering with cold & fright. I stopped the lad & asked, 'What you got there son?' 'Just
some old birds,' came the reply. 'What are you gonna do with them?' I asked. 'Take 'em home &
have fun with 'em,' he answered. I'm gonna tease 'em & pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real
good time.' 'But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do?' 'Oh, I got some cats,' said the little
boy. 'They like birds. I'll take 'em to them.' I fell silent for a moment.
'How
much do you want for those birds, son?' 'Huh??!!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds.
They don't sing - they ain't even pretty!' 'How much?' I asked again. The boy sized me up as if I were crazy & said, '$10?'
I reached in my pocket & took out a 10 dollar bill. I placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.
I picked
up the cage & gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree & a grassy spot. Setting the cage down,
I opened the door & by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free."
Well,
that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit & then the pastor began to tell this story: "One day Satan & Jesus
were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden & he was gloating & boasting. 'Yes, sir, I
just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!' 'What
are you going to do with them?' Jesus asked. Satan replied, 'Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry &
divorce each other, how to hate & abuse each other, how to drink & smoke & curse.
I'm
gonna teach them how to invent guns & bombs & kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!' 'And what will you do when
you get done with them?' Jesus asked. 'Oh, I'll kill 'em,' Satan glared proudly. 'How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.
'Oh,
you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them & they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you & kill you!! You don't want those people!!' 'How much?' He asked
again. Satan looked at Jesus & sneered, 'All your tears & all your blood.' Jesus said, 'DONE!'
Then
He paid the price." The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door & he walked from the pulpit. Note attached to this
email: Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God & then wonder why the world's going to hell. Isn't it funny
how someone can say, "I believe in God." but still follow Satan (who, by
the way, also "believes" in God). Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand
jokes thru e-mail & they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send
it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they'll think of you for sending it to them. Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people
think of me than what God thinks of me. I pray, for everyone who sends this to their entire address book, they'll be blessed by God in
ways special for them.
Rediscover Your Spiritual Self
By Dianne
Hales
It's spiritual intelligence that helps you cope with stress.
Spiritual
Intelligence
Most of us aren't
even aware that we have a spiritual "IQ," so to speak. But
experts have found that spiritual intelligence is
the very thing that helps us manage our reactions to frustrating situations & therefore helps us reduce our stress.
"Spiritual intelligence is the capacity to sense, understand & tap in to the
highest part of ourselves, others & the world around us," says consultant & researcher Paul G. Stoltz, PhD, author
of The Adversity Quotient at Work (Morrow, 2000).
He believes that this source of inner serenity may
be our best defense against the hassles that barrage us every day.
According to Stoltz's polls of more than 100,000 men & women around the world, the number of adversities
people report -- ranging from minor miseries to major blows -- has soared from 7 a day 10 years ago to 23 today. Women report even more tribulations:
a whopping 30 a day.
Simple Steps
Sit quietly.
The process of cultivating spiritual intelligence begins in solitude & silence. "Most spiritual traditions involve an inner wisdom," says Dean Ornish,
MD, the pioneering cardiologist who incorporates spiritual intelligence
into his mind-body therapies. "It speaks clearly, but very softly."
To tune in to its whisper, you have to turn down the volume in your busy, noisy, complicated life & force
yourself to do nothing at all. Start small by creating islands of silence in your day.
In the car, instead of reaching for the radio dial, use the time to reflect. At work, shut the door to your
office between meetings, take a few deep breaths & let them out very, very slowly.
At home, create a quiet space for yourself. Take a few minutes each day, perhaps before dinner, to rest your
eyes. Savor the stillness in your home after the kids are finally in bed.
Step outside.
For many people, nature sets their spirit free. "Being outdoors gives us a sense of timelessness," says Stoltz. "It puts the hassles of
daily living into perspective."
Go
outside to watch a beautiful sunset. If you're walking the dog, take the time to admire an azalea bush in bloom. Follow the flight of a bird; watch clouds float overhead.
Gaze into the night sky & think of the stars as holes in the darkness letting heaven shine thru.
Find
an activity you enjoy.
Because
so much of her work as a librarian involves mental labor, Dawn Work, 38, of Des Moines, needed a less cerebral way to tap in to her spirit. "I'm no good at meditation, so I've learned how to weave," she says. "To me, it's a means of getting to know myself."
It's
important to find a hobby like Work's that helps you tune in to your spirit. Garden, walk or jog, arrange flowers, listen to music that touches your soul.
Ask questions of yourself.
Some
people use their contemplative time to focus on a line of Scripture. Others ask open-ended questions, such as "What am I feeling? What are my choices? Where am I heading?"
But
don't expect an
answer to arrive via some supernatural form of e-mail. "Rarely do I get an immediate answer
to my questions," says the Reverend Joan Carter, a Presbyterian minister in Sausalito, California. "But later that day I suddenly
find myself thinking about a problem from a perspective I never considered before."
Trust your spirit.
Paula
Luedtke, 47, had been hoping to heal a breach w/her 26 year-old daughter. One day last summer, a woman telephoned her &
said, "Mom?"
For
a moment Luedtke thought it might be her own daughter. When she discovered that it was a wrong number, she told the caller that
she hadn't talked to her daughter for 10 years.
"This
stranger said, 'You should call her right now.' I realized I had just been sent a message: I called my daughter & we talked
for 2 hours."
Spiritual
intelligence can speak not
just thru others, but thru your own body. "Often, I feel a relaxation in my stomach," says Dawn Work. "I just know that something is right."
A Greater
Good
While most of us rely on gut feelings to alert us to danger, spiritual intelligence usually nudges us toward some action that'll lead to a greater good.
This is a lesson that Charlene Baumbich, an author & speaker in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, has learned well. Several
years ago she was convinced that she couldn't write a book she'd contracted to do.
The
day before she planned to scuttle the deal, she went to a crafts fair. There Baumbich found a photograph of a chubby toddler opening a treasure
chest - out of which flew butterflies.
"There was a voice that said, 'Just open the lid. Write
the first word.'" So she did. And that book, How to Eat Humble Pie and Not Get Indigestion (Arbor Hill, 1997), was a success. Her advice to other women curious about tuning in to their inner
wisdom: Take the first step. Peer inside yourself. And don't be surprised if you find butterflies.
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